Carroll's Journal #4 (The HERnia)

I just aggravated my hernia tonight. I was told by a friend that she has decided to back out of my offer to publish her. I think I am going to abolish the idea of trying to help up and coming authors to get published. I still have two more on my list, but I am not going to add any new potential up and comers. It’s just not working out.

So how did I aggravate my hernia again? Well, I threw a little fit. One of my computers was acting up again and I …. um …. Yeah …. I kind of retired it …. Through my bedroom window. LOL

Anybody know a good window installer I could call?

This just goes to show the hernia of life. This also goes to show the trickle down effects of what has been going on in recent days and months with “you know who.”

It has also been brought to my attention that this girl continues to write nasty poems in my direction. I have no idea why she continues to try and pester me, doesn’t she know I left Goodreads? I know she does. She has to know. But aawwwww, isn’t that sweet, she misses me.

Well, good for her!

Another close friendship, ruined by the Mexican senorita. (You know I wanted to say something else there) She can do her happy dance now. I am quite sure she is.

Well, good for her!

Ouch, my hernia. I need to get one of those stress balls or something. That or shatter proof windows. I mean, come on, we can fake sending a man to the moon but we can’t fake making shatter proof windows?

Wait! What? …. Moving on …..

I am planning a camping trip. Okay, it’s just an idea. Camping across America. Of course, I have to wait until I am fully healed here. But once I am …. Yeah buddy! LOL

Back to my friend … I am going to miss her. But she made her choice. There was some small issue that I was trying to resolve and it didn’t get resolved the way I would have liked. So is the way of the world, nothing ever goes like you want, does it? Just one big ball of mucus and fungi.

Okay, that was gross.

I am missing my friend already. I am crying here. I thought by leaving Goodreads everything would calm down and Jude would leave it alone. Leave me alone. Clearly, her new poem is an indication that she refuses to let it go away. And the aftermath has yet to subside from her not so un-evil deeds. She is like a hurricane, wreaking havoc with everything in her path and leaving shattered lives in her wake.

Well, good for her!

Such is the hernia of life. Always popping its little head out of its hernia hole to say a howdy do to the world.

You know, the worse part here is, this hernia is getting in the way of my …. Um …. Personal life.

Wait! What is that you ask? When I say hernia do I mean an actual hernia or her? Well, use your imagination. That’s why we have them, to use them.

Want not waste not or …. However that saying goes.

Today is the day I fade away.

I reflect to the wizard of Oz and the Tin man. What on earth would make him think that he would want a heart? It only gets broken and there is nobody who has the expertise to fix them. No, really, I looked in the yellow pages once and didn’t find one person who could fix them. I saw there were heart specialists, but when I called, they said they specialize in keeping it beating. You know, for if when you have a heart attack or something or need a new heart valve and junk.

I would use glue to fix a broken heart but the incision I need to make to get inside complicates the process with all that blood squirting out and into your eyes and crap. And truth be told, I am a bit squeamish from the sight of blood.

Just a bit.

Well, good for her!

Sorry, I don’t why I blurted that out. Just a muscular reflex. Kind of like up-chucking. Speaking o f which, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea right now. Do you know I haven’t up-chucked for over 15 years? Maybe 20.

True story.

It is getting cold in here. When are those window guys gonna show up. I did mention it was an emergency, didn't I? Well, didn’t I?

I could go for some coyote stew right about now.

Look on the bright side Carroll, a hundred years from now …. None of this will even matter. Now that is something to look forward to.

Well, good for me!

Wait! What?

Oh yeah, the hernia of life.

I want to dedicate this song to my new old friend. May her travels take her to the greatest places in the world. May she have eternal happiness and all the love she can stand. I will never forget her. She is smart as she is beautiful and kind and I hope she gets published someday and enjoys all the riches in the land.

 http://youtu.be/Lf8CHI9efss

This hernia is really annoying me right now. Where’s my pain medication?

Maybe I will look into going back into anger management. The last time didn't go so well. Check for youself.